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Limericks

A pale Youth, whose verve had worn thin,
Once swallowed a gallon of Gin.
He collapsed with a mewl
As cedillas of drool
Did gyrate at his slack, hispid chin.

There was a team leader named Bridie
Who looked like a female Bill Tidy.
When she puked on her clothing
Through sheer self-loathing,
The Myrmidae said, “Nearly Friday!”

A Lady, whose manner was blunt,
By an ignorant Mongol was dumped.
“I should,” she supposed,
“Appear cool and composed,”
So she phoned up and called him a Cunt.

There was a young person from Leith
Who had twelve STDs and four teeth.
“If you think I am scabby,
You should see me babby,”
Squalled that epicene person from Leith.