janvier 21, 2007
dirk2win
I've been wondering if I've been sinning. I don't do lust any more; I used to a lot. Wiki: "Dante's criterion was 'excessive love of others', thereby detracting from the love due to God". I met a Quaker recently; I've decided I'm a Quaker, and to me "love due to God" translates as love due to the syrup in my headporridge, e.g. my quiddity, and so no, I don't do that any more, and speaking of Dante, Clerks 2 is rubbish. They all have double chins and are less funny. I know people get double chins and less funny when they turn 30. I know.
I also don't do envy. The last thing I coveted was a tiny wooden carving of a kappa, so I stole it, and it wasn't even for me, and it didn't even count as stealing as the person I stole from had been crazy since she was given it, and I was worried it was the kappa's fault. Kappas are sinister; they want to do terrible things to you with cucumbers. So you see I was being altruistic, which is not sinful. Well, I envy people who are taller than me, but that's pride related, of which more later.
I have two dinners every night and I hate mornings!!1
I don't care about money much. With money comes power. With little power comes little responsibility, and I like it that way. Too much disposable cash would throw me into moral turmoil. People who boast about their income disgust me. And that's where we come to the sins I doodoo, e.g. wrath. It's my worst one. I can leap into a benny at the slightest provocation. I've found two ways of curbing my petty outrage, and I want you to do it too. Next time some arsehole pisses you off, you have two options. One is to check whether you're projecting. For instance, I find myself having a proper rant about Ms X:
"God, she's such an attention seeking, screech voiced cow; she thinks she's one of the lads but just comes across as fancying them".
No she isn't; but I am, and I do. Except I'm not and I don't, I just subconsciously worry about it. I've unwittingly berated myself for this a few times, thinking I was hating harpies when I was in fact just a bit spiritually fidgety. You can even use it for:
"For fuck's sake, the Mrs hasn't washed up"
because neither have you, and does that make you Mr Trebus? Nope.
If you're not projecting, then somebody may well have stolen your bucket (see top). Usually for me it's when I'm sinning Pride - if I think someone's being condescending or inconsiderate. If you find yourself thinking "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" or your own equivalent, either go the whole hog with your fury and commence a shooting spree after Falling Down, or stop and think "Am I just behaving like a wall-eyed, bucket obsessed seal?" and then stop it. If something's justifiably maddening you, and it's not your fault, and you can't remove yourself and think about ponds and lounge music until your eyes are pointing the same way again (e.g. forwards), I suppose you're allowed to bust a blood vessel. It's worth checking, though.